Glitter Tinder

Glitter:

I love chess it's a great game 

JP Morgan Douchebag:

We should play 

But you will kill me 

I'm sure you know what you're doing 

Glitter:

We'll see 

JP Morgan Douchebag:

Where'd u go to school 

Glitter:

Dukeeee 

JP Morgan Douchebag:

Cool 

Florida State undergrad 

Brooklyn Law School

Only 2 schools I applied to 

Well aside from London School Economics for study abroad 

So who u gonna take to the Dance?

Glitter:

Unclear 

JP Morgan Douchebag:

I would've gone 

Glitter:

I'll ask my attorney in the meantime 

JP Morgan Douchebag:

:(

How'd u end up with an extra?

Glitter:

Friends with the actors 

JP Morgan Douchebag:

How was the show 

Glitter:

It's tonight 

JP Morgan Douchebag:

Do anything fun last night 

GLitter:

Went to a party 

What about u 

JP Morgan Douchebag:

Drank a lot 

Think I had about 13 shots 

Between all he drinks 

Outside the Capitol building 

GLitter:

Sounds divine 

What kind of shots 

JP Morgan Douchebag:

Well drinks too 

Vodka 

Whiskey 

Bourbon 

GLitter:

You sound fun 

JP Morgan Douchebag:

Oh yeah 

So what are u looking for?

Glitter

Private jets and Xanax 

JP Morgan Douchebag:

Ha 

For real?

Glitter:

For real tho 

JP MORGAN Douchebag

Take a picture 

Of u

Looking sexy 

Glitter:

I don't ever roll that way 

I would like to be a famous artist one day do you feel 

JP Morgan:

Artist?

Glitter:

Yes slash writer 

So no sexy photos 

No sophisticated or elegant 

Ok? 

JP Morgan:

Ha ok 

What kind of pills are those 

Glitter:

Allergy 

JP Morgan:

Boring 

GLitter:

Indeed 

I'm a serious girl 

I don't fool around 

JP MORGAN:

What's that have to do with anything 

Glitter:

I just don't fool around with pills I don't need 

Any issues that I have can be resolved through mediation and practice of love light and kindness 

JP MORGAN:

Word 

I bet you are fun in bed 

Jp Morgan:

I also don't sleep with men who I'm not in love with or who aren't committed to me on an emotional level 

Jp morgan:

Fair 

Just saying 

Glitter:

Just saying 

JP MORGAN:

Am I right 

GLitter:

Fun can be defined in many ways 

It's inappropriate to talk about sex when you don't know me tho. 

I imagine that's not how you meet quality women 

JP MORGAN:

Sorry was unpacking 

It's been a stressful day 

Excerpt From Nazi Cocaine

It was Halloween and I was hungover. It was a terrible way to start Halloween considering I had a big Halloween party to go to.  I was seeing Will Lewis, a simple name for a crazy man. He was a fellow New Yorker 10 years my senior. He worked at the same law firm that his father owned. That meant he went to work one day a week if at all. One of Will’s law school friends inherited a townhouse on East 68^th Street from his aunt who died from a tragic drug overdose of sleeping pills and barbiturates. The Post covered her death as a Heart Attack.  I was going as Titania and Will was dressed as Oberon. He custom ordered our costumes from a costume shop in Los Angeles. I thought this was the teensiest bit homosexual. We took a taxi up the FDR to the party from his west village walk-up both of us chainsmoking out the window not talking. So, he asked, did you have a good day at work?
 It was lovely I said. 
We both realized we had nothing to say and turned towards our respective windows. Boredom in a relationship this early was never a good sign. The drugs and the sex helped dull the boredom temporarily. I was left with a looming emptiness that I was becoming my own mother. He started caressing my shoulder and felt my bra. Will had mentioned on our first date that he wanted to do it in a cab. We went to Serendipity and were sharing a frozen hot chocolate.  I picked this location in attempt to shed my slutty washed up Washington DC persona. I liked him immediately because his seemingly vanilla milque toast interior had faded and again God reminded me that I was so fucking judgmental. I wasn’t in the mood for a public show. Rumor had it that taxi drivers carried guns in their cabs but I gave him a handjob to get him off my back. He then pulled out a bag of blow and his Phi Beta Kappa Key from Cornell and began to take short steady snorts, like he was bobbing for apples. That was so fucking good he said. 
The blow I asked, taking his key and politely and then snorted it in a lady like fashion in the way I assume Marie Antoinette would have. 
No the handjob he said.