Girls on HBO, with too much Money and more Black people the Sequel

Unless you live in the Bronx,  It is Kimpossible that you have  not heard, read, discussed, and obsessed over Girls. 

Girls is Sex and the City which replaced Money and Manolos with Cellulite and Crying and the raw truth of the Pained Existence of 20 something misunderstood geniuses- where I most relate. 

Here is whats missing. Dirty Club Scenes, Black Kids, Criminal Parents, Republicans, Blood,  and chronic Chainsmoking. 

Let us Get very R. Kelly RealTalk for a nano. Despite its inherent flaws that have been addressed by low to mid tier Entertainment Blogs- Everyone including Ann Coulter is talking about it and The creator is a lot more popular than me.

The creator  is a genius but THANK GOD notthatHot

  If she was better dressed and didn't look so washed-up and hungover and droopy eyed I would deeply fully wish her house would go into foreclosure. 

As no one likes one to speak for a generation who is Better Looking than us, and Im looking at you Obama.

We get her. We pretend to feel her pain because she asks the question that no one is afraid to ask. 

Why arent Millenium 20 somethings running the world, we are just as smart, cool, fresh, and experienced. We survived terrorism, anthrax, the breakup of the Spice Girls, Y2K, the collapse of the Roman Empire, we can do anything.  

She is intelligent without pretension, no mention of Tosca or Kierkgard or Metaphysa Mind and Brain Sex Chemicals or Degas Ballerinas,

Im Impressed because these women do the KimPossible, they function in a cosmopolitan city without a gun, pilatayKaratay Class,  Veuve and arbitrary bursts of Im going to rehab or tahiti or Palm Beach or Coachella or a Horse Show, or in my Case a Q4 for a few weeks as I cant handle society but I will return for the better or more likely for the worse. 

None of these women suffer from any extreme personality disorders, which I hope to create in the sequel in Girls..with Too much money, 

Unlimited Funds Unlimited Pain

You know there is a  slight advantage where you work in an office where your father makes more money than your boss, which means that power and confidence in my work rests in the notion that if I mess up we can simply go to Lavo for some Veuve and Xanax and say that I am sorry.

I do not take anything seriously including jobs, the constitution, or Bouncers in Clubs but what I do take seriously what to do with money and how to be thankful for priviledge with the right mixture of class and obnoxiousness sauteed in intelligent humor and cocaine.

Siri, Arent you a Narcotics Detective?
Most certainly,
I do not do drugs, I just like having them and the rush that comes from socializing withdealers and the exchange of money that I do not have with drugs that I do not like.



The jig is up and the life I live is a fraudulent one, which is something I need to accept if I would like to continue to wear Christian Louboutins and complain about the service in the British Airways FirstClass Lounge.

I could take the opportunity to try to keep it real and thug it out and live with 5 transvestites in a poorly decorated whorehouse with bad lighting
But I would tire of this in about a half an hour which means I have to accept that I am purely a fully funded damaged wannabe socialite with poor handeye coordination, organization, impeccable manners and has tantrums over excel.

As I look amongst my well funded peers, I notice that the pain, the competition and the toxicity of the fight to show each other that we are all running shit at the top of our game just as long we have driver, nanny, hypnotist, and bills paid is slowly and uncanningly making me go manic.

Because the truth is, I am very truly whole heartedly unwell and the fact that I even attempt to function in an everyday society should be awarded.

So I would like to take this opportunity to announce my worthlessness to my fellow adderal popping hotel bar popping Sunday Styled guest of a guest photographed peers.
Worthless is a loaded word and a powerful self deprecating word but speaks volumes about the dichotomous way I lead my life.
I dont want to fight to pretend to be something I am not.
I am very clearly openly admitting to my fraud extension of existence and I can choose to go to Lavo in Lubed Loubs owning and attempt to make something of myself that doesnt require a lot of effort. Or go Cry about it and slash my wrists. I will probably do both.
Stay Medicated.

Questionable activities that I am particularly proud of

I attend every Kappa Alpha Theta Alumni meeting in Manhattan,

During my Senior year Philosophy of the Mind and Brain class I told my professor I left my wallet at Panera when I really went to pick up Drugs

I have stolen food from every single one of my friends homes, jars of peanut butter, gourmet jams, bottles of perrier, boxes of cars table water crackers,

I frequently launder money

I drink prosecco at work

I wear shirts that say, I am a terrorist bitch

I go through every single persons text messages

Poison Ivy league with a Side Order of Valium and Jizz

I recently went on a date with an old friend who wants to work in Finance.

I dont normally date men within my 10 year age range as I find their interests do not go further than ESPN and Natty Lite.  It is fraternity life post ivy league syndrome which is simply, Frat Guys with Their own money, and some of their parents money. They are still stuck in the heavily ingrained mindset that they are deeply  entitled and that texting and 2 am phone calls are not only the norm but encouraged.
And why shouldnt they? I most definitely am entitled to a never ending supply of klonopin and thrice weekly visits from nanny and hyptonist to stock my fridge with pro biotic yogurt and cleanse my chakra from cunts respectively.
 I own this, I have good manners, and am genuinely a nice person,

but Stephen Sondheim said it best, Nice is different than good.

My newest conundrum with this generation's coked out Post Delta Omega Pre Junior Partners is the question of what else beyond the fact that you will buy me by veuve and have your driver take me home can we talk about? and is it enough to consist of a relationship that will not require me to double my dosage

Working in Finance....

When I heard this it made me want to gag. Gag being the operative word because on what exactly... On his penis so he can see I am a well rounded individual who gives decent head and can talk about Degas?
or Gag  on the fact that he has chosen a boring profession and has a personality dryer than a proper 4 seasons martini and an only questionably tolerable physical appearance

He didnt go to an Ivy League school, which naturally warranted a 10 minute discussion about how he got into Cornell but decided to pursue University abroad in Canada.

The translation of this is clearly,
"I got wait listed as I went to a 2nd tier boarding school, play sports at a 6th grade level, am not of Cuban descent and most importantly dont have a pending movie career or a last name of a gas station, television network, or hotelier franchisement"

Hey Kid, Ive got the same story only mine has a little more blood and a little less blah blah shut the fuck up.

Plus, last I heard the Ivy League cocaine comes from the wrong side of Columbia and is cut with windex and rat poison so count your blessings and your healthier septums. 

Start owning it. You went to a prestigious University and chose to leave America for awhile to practice your french and master the ski slopes . That sounds much better. And for what its worth,  you look much better 3 veuves and a xanax deep. Call me or I will kill you. Literally.
Stay Medicated

Coachella Nutella Kay Bella

Coachella, I dont really get it.  Real Talk, I desperately would love to be part of the Douchebagging  celebrity eye fucking convention
 but in veritas I am still stuck in the corporate one oak controlled mind set and cant quite yet let my trust fund freak flag fly.

Here is why I do not thrive at Coachella

I dont  do drugs except for klonopin and meth and dont know music except for Britney, Puccini, and Usher
I  have no idea who Radiohead is and I am certain  Dr. Dre was my pediatrician so I have no place matriculating in a Lord of the Flies environment without proper supervision of my nanny, bodyguard, and personal wine sommelier.

Coachella's argument seems to be Music Brings the people together as long as you can afford Dom Perignon Dipped in Caviar Nutellaand make fun of the people in tents who are seemingly hardcore diehard music fans but in veritas do not have friends with swanky jacuzzis, and that to me seems the only reason to go.

However, it is the party of the season, where trust fund wasps and heirs to hotels get to act all 1960's and free love worshipping which frankly reeks of communism, STD's and lack of respect for corporate America sans lehman brothers and Enron,

Coachella. I Dont hate you because my non existent invitation to party with Malibu's finest got lost in the West Village mail,
I hate you because its sticky and liberal and celebrates music that I will never understand.

I did see some phenom instagrams of some celebrities and those with egos larger than a black man's penis to believe they are celebrities, which naturally are my favorite kind to social climb with and get finger banged by, so perhaps I am potentially missing out on an opportunity to be photographed with children whose parents control the E network.

My spring resolution besides going to the spa more, learn how to build weapons of minor destruction, and
 become more musically diversified so that next year I do not miss out on the 1% liberal celebrity gang bang celebration of what it means to be wealthy, musically aware, lack responsibility and a grasp of reality.

For now, my behind the scenes insta-stalking will have to suffice it say suffice. 

Sounds like a sesh. Ill bring my diamond encrusted bong and make my maid cook it for me.  Mush Mush Mush.

Trouble with my Boderline Personality Disorder Focus Group

One of the questions on the forum this week was: How do you handle stress?

I said, I take a lot of xanax and go to the spa.

My response was recently flagged for being inappropriate as most of the people involved in this group are middle americans struggling to Pay bills and in the middle of their online community college courses so this comment did not really resonate well.

Whoops.

I do really need those 20 dollars a month to fund my daily blended non fat venti minimal whip and eyeliner addictions.

Harper Lee, Little Scout is All grown up

Dear Scout Willis,

I am into you. You and your sisters seem to be the up and coming Kardashians without the sex type and the murder trials. 
I don't know you personally but our moms once did yoga together so that practically makes us godsisters.

This glitter letter  is a personal notice on my behalf that I will now be making mount everest like attempts to matriculate your inner circle of controversy, Hollywood and psuedo intellectualism.

We are quite similar you see
 Our mummies are  international fashion icons who tweet photos of themselves and insist on going to clubs and Our Daddies strike fear in those just by looking at them and are in freakishly ridiculous shape.
And our step dads are young gentlemen who wear cool hats and have a show about scaring celebrities.

Yes, You are hot even though you are blonde now which is a serious but thankfully not permanent mistake, you have remarkable fashion sense and quite recently seem to have moved beyond your typical product of hollywood millionaire hipster ivy league poet model who dabbles in existentialism and music it girl.
You get it.
When you recently wrote that you hate capitalism and your parents yet they have done so much for you,
I died.
But an interesting addendum could be you hate socialism and parents inability to give you their networth immediately as both have done so little also works as well.
Im all about you.
Drinks? Adderall? Banter about creating a girl Group?
See you at the St. Regis.

Babysitting: A Manhattan Exploration of Sex Toys and Jewelry

I babysit in New York City for multo multo italiano reasons .

 I enjoy rich small people, their snacks, their beds, and their toys. I frequently find myself a top a canopy catching up on the latest Regan memoir chainsmoking whist the children are playing and potentially setting things on fire. Whatever

I am a natural performer at heart so babysitting provides me with a forced audience to test out my newest dance routine and renditions of the REmix to Ignition and any new Rihanna song.

I am always looking for new friends and Most of my clients become my near friends as people born after 1997 have superb taste in music  and I assume will have asian friends who can create over the top fake french identifications so they can meet me at one oak.

 I do like children and innocents and then corrupting it by telling tales of awkward 3rd date blowjobs and often ask their opinion on  the right time to tell the guy you have a light substance abuse problem and an aversion to dairy.

I also enjoy complex rich people relationships and discover the intracies by rifling through their drawers of their porn collection, sex toys, all whilst trying on the Mother's cartier van cleef extradonaire collection.

I will most likely never have children of my own as they are messy and annoying and are only fun for instagrams and Christmas Holiday Cards if they look like Children that Hitler would not have exterminated- it comes down to a very basic God given understanding- Children are only fun for about 2 hours or so and then its time to go home.

 But I am a phenom nanny and an even phenom-er step mum because you get to forever be the cool fun glamorous exotic older confidante who always has spare 20s and crystal meth and a great story sauteed in a new dance routine,
Sorry I borrowed your tiara Mrs. Robinson, I will return it after my next ball tripping balls at the 4 seasons.

My Equinox Pick Up Game

As a wannabe creme de la creme aspiring socialite narcotics detective, I need to get in fighting seduction shape of wife material and beating up Drug Lord Minions.

After Nanny dropped of my groceries, I realized I needed to get more hardcore about my workout lifestyle. Previously my exercise was routine was picking up large mirrors off walls in peoples Hamptons homes to do cocaine of off, but now I needed more Michelle Obama arms sans the liberalism and questionable lack of appearances at my secret society meetings.

So, I joined Equinox as that is where all the hard core klonopin real housewives of Beverly Hills moms congregate along with a series of pseudo ive League D2 sports players who analyze numbers at Merril and talk about egg whites.

Naturally I am a skilled conversationalist intellectual, so when I see men lifting weights, I always watch them and ask them how they got so strong.
They usually inform me that my legs are bleeding, since they have been scratched due to the pressing anxiety of being amonst the fittest of the finest, but I am hoping that will ease once my mood stabilizers re adjust to flourescent light complimented by Rihanna Remixes.

NEver a Dull Moment, Never a Dull Razor

As my psychotic chronic alcoholic moronic disposition continues to permeate everyday society and poison all those who come into my bell Jar, It occured to me how many people I make turn to cocaine and or suicide.
Which I do not get me wrong, I am forever impressed with my ability to make people realize how bad their life is, I also have an incredible god given strength to find the flaw in even the most attractive and kind, but what really gets me is despite all the evil that courses through my veins I am a true friend, especially if you are pretty and have easy access to clubs and a house in London.

Lit tra lee

Highly Functioning Drug Addicts

I see no problem whatsoever with being a drug addict as long as you make a lot of money, have profound cultural interests and are not a debt to society.

Just because they dont publish it, doesnt mean you dont write for the Wall Street Journal

I like to think of myself as a fairly accomplished individual, so when I aggressively pursued a career as a police officer/ narcotics detective as who doesnt love a good punch in the face, not to mention I could pocket some extra meth and ex for my biddies in Malibu I realized I had found what I was destined to do.

Of course my first love is writing about 24 karat clit piercings and giving blow jobs to alcoholics I felt that pursuing a narcotics detective career would provide an essential compliment.

Now, as I patiently wait to be psycho analyzed by New York's Finest, which lets be honest could go in a very sour direction very quickly when I divulge into my obsession with M&M's manners and money sauteed in light rape fantasies,
I decide to continue my career of writing for the Wall Street Journal whilst I wait.

Stay Medicated.

Witty Cultural TV. Cracked out One Liners

 Television is a great compliment to wine and ambien as one settles for a legalized coma of Rem Cycles.

The person who punched Snooki season one was very ahead of his time

While Lauren Conrad's staying in Malibu over the internship in Paris continues to boggle, she still landed on top.

When in doubt, leave the ghetto to live with your rich family on the West Coast

Even Jack Bauer needed heroin

Whilst I was smoking a Cigar at Le Bain I reflected on the fact that attractive people really get me

Everyday I wake up and try to recall all the things I am grateful for and seem to make the bleak future seem a little more tolerable
intelligent racism
bottle service and sparklers
Instagraming bloody mary brunches
effective social climbing
potential for royalty
sexless marriages
no fault states
simultaneous abortion and bikini waxes
tea with corrupt politicians

Things I would do for 10,000 dollars

 wear a confederate and nazi flag t shirt exclusively or inclusively

negotiate a trade at CVS for my toiletries for my marjiuana at the check out counter

go without xanax, vibrator, meth, and zoloft for 80 days

tell people I went to Community college at every cocktail party engagement till Labor Day

engage in sexual relations with any family member

Have sex with 10 people without legs and or arms

swim in a public pool in the ghetto

sleep in a barn for a month

fly coach for my next 14 hour plus trips 

April Bills, GlitterTherapy Tax Write Off's no more

 Tax season in essence is the epitome of Glitter Therapy. Get Money. Vote Republican. Hire an Accountant and put the balls in your mouth of someone who works on the inside. 
Done.

I  repeatedly have done corporate tax write offs for my highly intense research and lifestyle to which I am accostomed for GlitterTherapy.
I.E
  my drinks at the Carlyle, my bi weekly trips to Canyon Ranch, my pellegrino, my cocaine, my karate classes, and my nanny all to GlitterTherapy LLC Incorporated
 
I was able to do this as  I used to give head to the V.P of the I.R.S, we met through our drug dealer and found out we both have alcoholic cousins at Vanderbilt in the same sorority

 but now his wife, who is an all American smiley blonde jogging plastic homemaker who values Jesus and Good Manners and should kill herself is now pregnant.
Ipso facto, my connect is pulling the "family man card" and needs to stop the affair.

Um. Hashtag Outraged.
According to his logic, There is absolutely no problem engaging in sexual relations with someone who is not your wife, but once she has a child then it becomes ethically immoral? 

So Suddenly your relationship and sex life is going to improve once you have a child?

Thats like saying my job is going to improve once I start working longer hours and take a 20% pay cut and add a few obese peurto ricans to the office to hoot and holler at my desk.
Illogical. Nonsensical. Erratic. Unfair.

Anyone at the I. R.S interested in highly sexual yet minorly disturbing favors in exchange for some light tax right off's?

See you at the St. Regis

Nervous Breakdowns so Chic for Spring

Curious about what is chic for Spring?
Kony
Guava Jelly as Lube
Italian Mafia Restaurants
Shaved Nipples
Sex in the conference room at 4 seasons in the middle East
naming your children after unmemorable  Presidents: Polk, Taylor, Madison,Fillmore, Buren, Clinton
Ivy League mid to low tier Fraternity Formals at Hotels paid for by Alumni and left over philanthropy cash
Drugs in the airport
Finding the Afi Komen Kofi Annan
Hun cal roofies
Real Housewives of Columbia

Socialites and Concerts

For one of my very dear rich skinny blonde friend of whom I met at a Bar in the Caribbean at age 10 when I ran away from my mother who was wearing an offensive sun hat.

I was crying from the combined pain of Janet Sartin Sunscreen in my eyes and the fact that my tankini was not attracting enough eligible pre pubescent future waspy trust fund hedgefunders.

It was certainly a rough day on the island, but luckily when I met my fabulous counterpart, I felt much better and we remained best friends joined at the protruding hip bone over our love of veuve and rich people ejaculation.

She is much more musically cultured than I am, and normally dont frequent concert venues as over zealous people who get excited about anything other than money and drug induced sleep give me raging anxiety and I got my ecstasy phase out of my system in middle school.

I only get excited about music when it is an R. Kelly and Puccinni combined concert, but because I love her and her credit card so much I went to the concert to which she invited me. 
It not only gave me an excuse to take a ton of klonopin and increase my aerobic exercise quota by jumping around like a manic person, I actually enjoyed feeling the music and the vibe of the people. Sort of.

I havent had an aggressive ChainSmoke Since the Lewinsky Stain Incident

Monica Lewinsky, How did you Do it?
Sex Scandal Mistress of the pre facebook at Columbine post tamogachi generation

As I stand outside the Conde Nasty office in my Marc Jacobs for Zac Posen sunglasses  replete with a large Cappachino and vogue cigarettes with a vicodin colored lighter, listening to the remix to Ignition by the Dartmouth Aires,

I take a moment to reflect on the sex scandals that rocked the 90s kids generation and how depressed I am that I have not yet to embark on one.

WHy,
Monica Lewinsky was barely a year older than I,
when her fellatio on the most powerful man in the Free World made her an instant  international celebrity creme de la creme sensation rendering her with with free cocktails at bars, cab fare, book deals, guests on talk shows, and sponsorship for embarrassing yet needed products like Jenny Craig.

Barack Obama, I hope you are carefully screening those intern applications. Because even though chocolate covered liberal fascists who chainsmoke and play basketball and do not hit their wives arent exactly my cup of Jizz if you know what I mean, I would be more than happy to become the face of the Millenium Girl Sex Scandal with the Prez
Is there a St. Regis at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave?

Texts Ive sent this week to seem mysterious, alluring and brilliant

Thinking about your fingers

My new asian friend

Like my tennis club, I have a whites only policy for personal and professional relationships. Why? I once went to a peurto rican Gyno in a ludicras attempt to save money on my amex-

I ended up with my syphalis spreading to my face and recently saw my "Doctor" in an episode of Cops.
It was an important realization, no matter how many financial abuses I make that month, never sacrifice my bedazzled clit health and stick to white Cornell M.D's who tell you about it.

 but Ive made a recent exception, why? Asians tell it like  it is.
My new Asian friend is a married attorney specializing in trust funds and wills. Two of my favorite things, money and dead family. She also has frequent bursts of tourette cursing and has the firm belief that no one should stay at the office past 430.
She also recently informed me that at her Jewish Law School they served her kosher pizza and Ice cream at the L2 mixers to which I will now be frequenting not for the food but for the swarming ego's of today's future asshole attorneys, and found it all disgusting.
Skinny, Smart, Asian, Says Dude a lot, and does whatever she wants all day.
Welcome to the inner circle Darling. We are glad to have you.

If you dont leave the office at 3 P.M or earlier, you must be really poor at handjobs

After I got of the phone with my attorney last night, as I am suing some of my sorority sisters who stole my idea of setting up an internship program at Al Queada for young American women internships looking for undercover experience.

In any case, a few recent professional pitfalls have led me to take a position in my cousins office and by cousin I mean california and by office I mean rehab.

Where are all the 500K Plus Guys?, A quest to breaking thru dating tax bracket barriers

A very Dear Friend, puzzled, confused, very beautiful, minorly educated with a side order of drunken anorexia and a literacy rate of 10th Grade A.P lit at Harvard WestLake sent me this note:

I'm 27 in May I'm hot in a convential way meaning would look good on a Maxim cover but Autistic on a Harpers Bazar Spread,
I have style meaning I dont dress like a slut and wear the chanel bag I bought from my first pay check at Goldman in the 90s 

good taste meaning I know 3 different kinds of white wine and can properly read a restaurant review

am cultured meaning my travel experience goes only slightly beyond the sophistication of getting crunk in Barcelona junior year with my fellow Kappa Delts .

I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.

You might say that I'm a greedy spoiled bitch and you would be right, but in purest form I am a good christian with impeccable manners and a spontaneous personality
 but an annual salary of $500k is considered only barely brushing the middle class in New York City.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone  who has an income of $500k annual salary?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you and your circle?

Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.  WHY???? What Am I doing wrong and how can I break this bracket
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area in New York City $250k annual income is not enough to support my occasional substance habits and questionable interior design career with weekends in South Hampton and various shrinks and healers and private school tuition for children I will only pretend to care about along with their staff i.e tutors, shrinks, hypnotists et cetera ad nasauem.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why are most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I've met a few girls who are bloated Ivy LeAgue has beens who's biggest accpmplishment is they are on a worthless committee that exists in the confines of their own imagination and don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.

4) How do they decide who can be their wife, and who can only be their girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

All I have to say is, Baby, welcome to my circle. This has been my constant personal pained battle since the day I arrived by impeccable conception on Gods green earth without champage.

So take a handful of xanax, some mace, a Banker's cum and a pen stolen fromt the Supreme Court and
Meet me at the St. Regis

Daily I.V Injection of Glitter

If your shrink has more clients than you, you have a terrible arrangement

Never pass up a rich kid douchebag mingle fest at the Beach

If you have sex with someone married, keep all the receipts

Voting Liberal leads to sexually transmitted diseases

Renting summer homes is the fastest way of telling everyone your stock portfolio blows

Commercial flights have become offensive

Its important to call people out on their acne

If you arent supplying my trust fund or xanax.. then Im not sure why you are

Its so hip in my generation to hate everyone right now.

I love everyone, I love how they think they are important and run the companies with which they work and go to the gym and have a boyfriend and vacation in the wrong hamptons.

But see, their idealistic fame which exists in the confines of their sober imaginations is amusing to me, A, and B they are happy and are therefore down to get wasted and meet rich men to tell them how fabulous they are.
They are therefore contributing to my potential unborn childrens trust fund, which I am not having so the money will be mine.

As for the xanax, well hopefully I am assuming they are doing so well they have an un disposable garbage can income allowing them to purchase prescription pills from shrinks on the cover of books.

DAy Job- If the Bottle Service Girl can do it so Can I

My dream job requires a title that reads Associate technology Digital Creative Producer Exec with an assistant who cuts herself from Long Island.

I also need to not have any responsibilities be allowed to wear glitter and need a pistol.
If anyone asks me to do anything file, export, report, acknowledge, draft, receive, give, bend over, I simply cannot and will not.

HEre's the thing glitterati, I am autistically incapable of doing an honest days work that requires any mitigated type of effort.
If the bottle service girl can draft a fake report that will never be used and has no meaning than so can I.

Also, Im really into blood right now.

Let my Heart Be the Teacher....

SMASH, NBC's greatest new hit about wannabe Broadway stars trying to make it big with their name in lights.  I watch it every sunday with dad, while we brush the poodles teeth and clean their ears and tell them they are pretty so their self esteem does not suffer.

The show is making me manically suicidal and is ruining my already pained evening. However, the song history is made at night is a chilling ballad, that makes even the strongest opposers of Broadway think twice.

Yes, its gay, its glittery, I could write the plot line in my sleep on ambien and red bull watching Alice and Wonderland. Debra Messing, you had your moment, and so did you Katherine Nanny Mcfee.

But the theatre does not belong on television, it belongs in Times Square with tourists and people that want to impress their dates.
Im off it.

Always the victim never the bride

Ive gotten in a lot of trouble this week, whether its been my inability to be a good friend, daughter, drug dealer, niece and psychic
 a lot of people are very disappointed in me and thats whack, Dont they Know Im LOCO?

Don't they know Im a manic depressive alcoholic sauteed in displays of financially dependent sociopathy

with a side order of  a wannabe abused housewife with no skills to speak of other than stalking people and being a racist  prude in a charming way and who doesn't see the value in life that lacks 7 figures and St. Tropez?

Furthermore, the amount of abuse to which I have suffered both personally and professionally throughout my time on Gods Green Earth has been all but intolerable which leads me to believe  that my thinking is not crystal meth clear because of the abuse.

People should forgive ME. and feel bad for ME.

However,
I do want to say, that even though my abuse and the whack deck of cards I have been handed has been intolerable,
 what with my taxing day job that ends at 4 and my inability to get a standing reservation at Minetta Tavern at 8 without dropping my own name,

My behavior for hurting people that I love is also intolerable. And for that, I am sorry.
But that doesnt mean that I shouldn't be forgiven because lets face it. I am the best thing that ever happened to you.
With Deep Love, Gin, Respect, Guns, and Money
Glitter

New Month New Hobbies Stay Fresh. Its Kony its so chic for Spring

Getting people into cocaine

naming yachts

crushing up my medicine and mixing it in with prosecco and olives in public

Getting Really racist about Obama

Comparing my credit card bill with my siblings

infomercials and light gay porn with a side of cutting myself and mixing it in With A Goldman Sach's banker's pre ejaculation

refusing underwear

speaking with an inflected British Accent when talking about Art

Carrying and quoting the Bible

Im Back for Good Bitches

Ive noticed that my recent fanbase of foundation have grown extremely angry with me not only for being off cocaine for today but also because my below the poverty line standard upkeep of glittertherapy,

which yes has been comparable to the infrequency of random yet friendly donations to my trust fund.

This is not ok.

I resolve to blog at least once a day, of tales of my cumings and goings, my highs and highers, my uppers and downers, and my vacant wet/dry spells depending on your interpretation or which version to which I entertain.

and of course,  my constant quest continues in my need to name drop, to social climb, to grind with and get fingerbanged with people that live in hotels, fly on private jets to hawaii, throw charity events, own nightclubs, and tweet like their kids play with Suri Cruise on the regs.

Im still at the St. Regis.
Stay Medicated. Stay on One.