Bright Lights. Big City Blind People
Coffee. Smokes. Diet Cokes.
Up all night trying to get roofied.
No Cares in the world or at least that What she says.
I should have killed you when I had the chance.
The Blindness of all of us makes me wonder what we do see, if anything at all.
Thursday, April 23, 2015
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
This is what I think about during Sex
Last night I counted, and I determined through and An excel spreadsheet created by my South Korean Intern Cosmo who moonlights as my drug dealer healer and dog walker that I have had sexual relations with mortals 200 times. and Once in Space when I was 14 with my boyfriend who had a doo rag, but we are both unclear if that counts.
Heres what I think about
The stock market
Barbiturates
If he can tell that I stole this move from Jennifer Love Huge Tits, the critically acclaimed porn film that won second place in 2006.
If my asbergers is apparent
The Korean Market Lady who is a cunt.
If he thinks that my laminated trust Fund above my Bed is Artsy Chic or Pretentious and Freakish
To vote for Ted Cruz
That I should get a new clit Piercing
If I took a mood stabilizer or a skittle
How to count backwards in Russian
If he thinks my slit wrists are Girl Interrupted hot or creepy suicidal thirteen year old making him feel pedo-philish
How fast After he cums if he can buy me a present to Rome
If Im prettier than his mom
Heres what I think about
The stock market
Barbiturates
If he can tell that I stole this move from Jennifer Love Huge Tits, the critically acclaimed porn film that won second place in 2006.
If my asbergers is apparent
The Korean Market Lady who is a cunt.
If he thinks that my laminated trust Fund above my Bed is Artsy Chic or Pretentious and Freakish
To vote for Ted Cruz
That I should get a new clit Piercing
If I took a mood stabilizer or a skittle
How to count backwards in Russian
If he thinks my slit wrists are Girl Interrupted hot or creepy suicidal thirteen year old making him feel pedo-philish
How fast After he cums if he can buy me a present to Rome
If Im prettier than his mom
Jizz Stained Soul Cycle Pants and My lack of Instagram followers
My Country Club follows my father on Instagram and not me or any of my fake accounts and Im madder than Judy Garland without her barbiturates. O AND RIP. That poor bitch went down the wrong yellow brick road. But I digress. Newport does not have a soul cycle and the club does not follow me on instagram.
There are a lot of problems with Newport. The AA meetings have horrendous coffee and no heroin addicts, there are no black people so I have terrible strands of Ganja, making my cookies taste like Ghetto Tollhouse, and I cant for the life of me find a reasonably priced hooker for my dad.
Newport does not have a soul-cycle which dramatically affects my ability to enjoy my Memorial Day Weekend, wearing white, snorting white, and acting white. Jizz is white. Ill get over it and rely on my wiccanBulimia to stay thin and burn calories by making my dad punch me in the stomach. Snow is White. And so, it came to my attention that my Country Club to which I just joined, at a price comparable to a mid tier college education, has an instagram account that is not half bad.Yes, the PR woman is a barely 21 Tampa, FL whore who uses trashy filters like Kevin but I appreciate the effort. It came to my attention that the account was following my father and not me.
What in fresh hell is this. Follow for Follow. Newport, I understand that you value old money and old fashioned ways of weight loss such as cocaine and sex with the neighbor for calisthenics, but embrace the times and embrace the New generation and the new money. Its time to open up a soul cycle, follow the next generation on the gram, and let go and let God.
There are a lot of problems with Newport. The AA meetings have horrendous coffee and no heroin addicts, there are no black people so I have terrible strands of Ganja, making my cookies taste like Ghetto Tollhouse, and I cant for the life of me find a reasonably priced hooker for my dad.
Newport does not have a soul-cycle which dramatically affects my ability to enjoy my Memorial Day Weekend, wearing white, snorting white, and acting white. Jizz is white. Ill get over it and rely on my wiccanBulimia to stay thin and burn calories by making my dad punch me in the stomach. Snow is White. And so, it came to my attention that my Country Club to which I just joined, at a price comparable to a mid tier college education, has an instagram account that is not half bad.Yes, the PR woman is a barely 21 Tampa, FL whore who uses trashy filters like Kevin but I appreciate the effort. It came to my attention that the account was following my father and not me.
What in fresh hell is this. Follow for Follow. Newport, I understand that you value old money and old fashioned ways of weight loss such as cocaine and sex with the neighbor for calisthenics, but embrace the times and embrace the New generation and the new money. Its time to open up a soul cycle, follow the next generation on the gram, and let go and let God.
Work Invitation Email
Dear Colleague,
Would you like to go to Nello's to discuss AK 47s and Chainsmoke? Ill see you at 1 pm and we'll circle up. Also, when using my computer to print, please do not click on the porn. It is really expensive and took 2 hours to download. Also, I make more money than you so I will pay. (not) Can we outsource our timesheets to India via Craigslist?
You look hot today,
Sincerely,
GlitterT
Would you like to go to Nello's to discuss AK 47s and Chainsmoke? Ill see you at 1 pm and we'll circle up. Also, when using my computer to print, please do not click on the porn. It is really expensive and took 2 hours to download. Also, I make more money than you so I will pay. (not) Can we outsource our timesheets to India via Craigslist?
You look hot today,
Sincerely,
GlitterT
Monday, April 13, 2015
Nadine Nathanson at Harvard Real World Versailles
Act 4 Scene 3:
Two weeks before Halloween. The weather is still warm. Taylor and Nadine are smoking cigarettes outside of the library contemplating suicide and sex.
Nadine: You know that I plagiarized my entire admissions essay.
Taylor: You've mentioned this several times.
Nadine: I know I just find it absurd that they still havent figured it out. Anyway, did you fuck my brother? Pause
Taylor: What? No Nadine.
Taylor hadnt fucked Nathan. She wanted to, but she knew that it would sacrifice her relationship with Nadine, her presence so intoxicating, she wondered if she was also in love with her as well. Not a sexual love, more an obsession.
Nadine: You don't have to get your fucking blood stained panties in a twist. It was just a fucking question.
Taylor: I know, but he's your brother, and Im still with Simon. I wouldnt do that to you.
Nadine: You arent with Simon, you delusional fool, he got a a blow job from that fat Tri Delt at UVA and made his relationship status with you private on Facebook. In a decade he'll be a bald has-been in AA crying about the difficulties of getting hard from a cheap hooker.
Taylor: That makes me feel better.
Nadine: Im a really good friend, Tay. Just don't fuck my brother .
Taylor: Out of curiousness, why do you care so much?
Nadine: drags of her cigarette Because Taylor, he's the only pure thing Ive got, really untouched by humanity Do you know what I mean. If your juices become a part of his body than he can no longer protect me. He will have left me and somehow a piece of him will belong to you.
Taylor: I got it.(she didnt)
Nadine: Can we talk about something else? Will you film my audition tape to real world Versailles? I cant decide if I want to do Set your heart at Rest, the Titania Monologue from A Midsummer fucking dream, or Rap Hey Ma in French- like Bonsoir Man Quest que c'est? Tu Fume, je fume , je bois , moi aussi Voulez Vous Couchez Avec Moi.
Taylor: Do the French.
Two weeks before Halloween. The weather is still warm. Taylor and Nadine are smoking cigarettes outside of the library contemplating suicide and sex.
Nadine: You know that I plagiarized my entire admissions essay.
Taylor: You've mentioned this several times.
Nadine: I know I just find it absurd that they still havent figured it out. Anyway, did you fuck my brother? Pause
Taylor: What? No Nadine.
Taylor hadnt fucked Nathan. She wanted to, but she knew that it would sacrifice her relationship with Nadine, her presence so intoxicating, she wondered if she was also in love with her as well. Not a sexual love, more an obsession.
Nadine: You don't have to get your fucking blood stained panties in a twist. It was just a fucking question.
Taylor: I know, but he's your brother, and Im still with Simon. I wouldnt do that to you.
Nadine: You arent with Simon, you delusional fool, he got a a blow job from that fat Tri Delt at UVA and made his relationship status with you private on Facebook. In a decade he'll be a bald has-been in AA crying about the difficulties of getting hard from a cheap hooker.
Taylor: That makes me feel better.
Nadine: Im a really good friend, Tay. Just don't fuck my brother .
Taylor: Out of curiousness, why do you care so much?
Nadine: drags of her cigarette Because Taylor, he's the only pure thing Ive got, really untouched by humanity Do you know what I mean. If your juices become a part of his body than he can no longer protect me. He will have left me and somehow a piece of him will belong to you.
Taylor: I got it.(she didnt)
Nadine: Can we talk about something else? Will you film my audition tape to real world Versailles? I cant decide if I want to do Set your heart at Rest, the Titania Monologue from A Midsummer fucking dream, or Rap Hey Ma in French- like Bonsoir Man Quest que c'est? Tu Fume, je fume , je bois , moi aussi Voulez Vous Couchez Avec Moi.
Taylor: Do the French.
Johnny Walker, Scott Walker, A Bulimic Republican's Guide to Love and Politics
Scott Walker is running for President and I have no idea who the fuck he is accept for the fact that he is Republican and loves the 2nd Ammendment, the most important ammendment as I would rather not be able to speak my mind but still have my recession rhinestone encrusted 9 mm that I acquired at a gun show circa 2008.
His name sounds like the Hard Scotch my father drinks which already turned me on. When I was at the Strip Club, where I meet new attractive Dad's looking for a second wife with a Peter Pan Complex, I met a wonderful man.
I frequent this establishment, both to steal diet pills and learn fresh dance moves. A suitor approached me who had that erotic JFK vibe, the kind that made me certain that he and his crue most definitely axed the late Norma Jean, approached me and asked me what I would like to drink. Ill have a vodka tonic hold the tonic, I said, quoting Emily Thorne from Revenge.
Im George, he said. Ah, thats my dog's name I replied. Then I remembered its o so chic for a woman to be seen and not heard, yet another reason to do away with the first amendment, and smiled and fingered my pendant choking me across my neck, thus making it easier to induce bulimia. We finger banged to Rihanna Pon De Replay and he asked me for my number and I provided him with my work mobile so I can pretend to be my secretary when I answer the phone as well as my shrink's number to save time.
Hashtag Vote Walker.
His name sounds like the Hard Scotch my father drinks which already turned me on. When I was at the Strip Club, where I meet new attractive Dad's looking for a second wife with a Peter Pan Complex, I met a wonderful man.
I frequent this establishment, both to steal diet pills and learn fresh dance moves. A suitor approached me who had that erotic JFK vibe, the kind that made me certain that he and his crue most definitely axed the late Norma Jean, approached me and asked me what I would like to drink. Ill have a vodka tonic hold the tonic, I said, quoting Emily Thorne from Revenge.
Im George, he said. Ah, thats my dog's name I replied. Then I remembered its o so chic for a woman to be seen and not heard, yet another reason to do away with the first amendment, and smiled and fingered my pendant choking me across my neck, thus making it easier to induce bulimia. We finger banged to Rihanna Pon De Replay and he asked me for my number and I provided him with my work mobile so I can pretend to be my secretary when I answer the phone as well as my shrink's number to save time.
Hashtag Vote Walker.
What We talk about when I talk to my bitches
Rap
White wine
Interesting Ways to kill people
Why Dating profiles do not include the user's networth
Where my Clit is
Interesting Theatre
Anal Sex with Rich People
The political climate
If Obama has a hooker
How to cheat Con Edison
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