doo rag passport photos
wiccan license
ice cream sundae sex
brushed my hair
infiltrated a home grown terrorist group
Tara Reid tweeted at me
evaded my taxes
fired shrink
stole roofies
Monday, March 26, 2012
My first Boyfriend was open about his asbergers
Remember, during my freshman year of University I matriculated a liberal tree hugging granola loving government hating institution where women pretended to be lesbians, be men, and refuse to shower.
It was surprising that my frequent suicide attempts did not work, but it taught me an important lesson. Liberals and Lesbians live in a fantasy dream world where they can hate capitalism and money and romney as long as Mum and Dad pay the bill. I call it the plight of the disaffected wealthy Lesbian on Klonopin.
Ipso facto,
I did meet a boy in my Arabic class, as I am worldly elite individual who desires to infiltrate Al queda. He had long braided blonde hair, a stutter and frequent tourrets outburts.
I remember calling him once asking him if he ever had sex to which he replied, no comment and asked me out on a kayak date.
I declined out of the sheer stupidity of the idea sauteed in my religious principle that I do not do anything in the sea that doesnt involve yachts and cocaine which I explained.
I did realize however, that even though he wasnt my type in the sense that his family didnt have a house in the hamptons and his parents were together and he wasnt an alcoholic who would eventually give me black eyes and then make up for it with YSL purses and tickets to the opera,
He was smart and different and freakish, and so perhaps, now that he has successfully cashed in his shares of his Facebook IPO, I should send him an evite to my house party and invite no one else to re kindle our awkward flame.
It will be Arabic meets Asbergers meets Antiquated Social Climbing
It was surprising that my frequent suicide attempts did not work, but it taught me an important lesson. Liberals and Lesbians live in a fantasy dream world where they can hate capitalism and money and romney as long as Mum and Dad pay the bill. I call it the plight of the disaffected wealthy Lesbian on Klonopin.
Ipso facto,
I did meet a boy in my Arabic class, as I am worldly elite individual who desires to infiltrate Al queda. He had long braided blonde hair, a stutter and frequent tourrets outburts.
I remember calling him once asking him if he ever had sex to which he replied, no comment and asked me out on a kayak date.
I declined out of the sheer stupidity of the idea sauteed in my religious principle that I do not do anything in the sea that doesnt involve yachts and cocaine which I explained.
I did realize however, that even though he wasnt my type in the sense that his family didnt have a house in the hamptons and his parents were together and he wasnt an alcoholic who would eventually give me black eyes and then make up for it with YSL purses and tickets to the opera,
He was smart and different and freakish, and so perhaps, now that he has successfully cashed in his shares of his Facebook IPO, I should send him an evite to my house party and invite no one else to re kindle our awkward flame.
It will be Arabic meets Asbergers meets Antiquated Social Climbing
Cunts always Win
Most people are terrified of my Father which is hilarious. When we went to visit my cousin at Rehab in the 90's he told her doctor that he was very wealthy, because thats just who he is.
I pride myself on being kind, loving, and compassionate to those uglier and less fortunate and have been known to take on many a charity case as friends. In fact, my hickville drug dealer from college is one of my dearest friends.
Father and I it seems, are not that different because just this weekend, during a typical run of social climbing with celebrities and millionaire startup entrepeneurs, my inner cunt came out. And damn it feels good to know a banker.
I normally am not outwardly rude to staff -
but when a hostess tells me I need to wait 15 minutes to be seated after my fake assistant called to make a reservation thrice times,
I needed to remind her that I was in the Sunday Styles in 2003 and am a very big deal. Not only am I an entry level employee at one of the biggest PR fashion houses in New York I also speak French and can sort of read Arabic. Additionally I am friends with some food critic bloggers and look very important with my Louboutins and angry glares.
Needless to say, my inner circle of fabulosity, money, disfunction, and drunkorexics were given free prosecco and lengthy apologies.
Niceness would have left me in the back with the B list Actresses at the Bar who had never been photographed for a mediocre style blog.
Stay medicated.
Xo
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Discrimination against Rich Kids, The nouveau threat to Post Modern Day Society
Ive lived a very stressful life. Actually beyond.
Throughout medications, disorders, bad therapy, low tier charity boards, poorly decorated guest bathrooms, light violent domestic crime, questionable trust fund amounts, racism against white people for getting into Ivy Leagues, and trying to get a job that doesn't involve doing anything but comes with a title like Junior Media Digital Publicity Creative Associate - it is a Rough Game in the 20-30 Something One Percent
Recently, among my many career endevors as most of you know I am in training to be the millenium version of a merge of Olivia Benson and Detective Munch with a side of Dr. Wong's intelligence and asian pauses.
I was informed recently, by one of my liberal minority university associates who I used to give Handjobs to in the Medical Library that I live a "too sheltered existence for this kind of work"
TO quote
And this is was actually in virtual verbatim text message
You Grew up in one of the most richest parts of the world, you went to elite private schools all your life and you live in a beautiful apartment in a rich part of town without having to pay for anything on your own.
Youve never had to worry about food in the house shitty schools, violent crime, discrimination, and other stuff that many people deal with
Youve benefitted from being born in a rich family and have things given to you on a silver platter. You have a maid.
OK A FEW THINGS... FREAK
1. It is not a narcotics detectives job to deal with "shitty schools and discrimination" and for the glittery bedazzled record I went to an all girls private school - it was definitely "shitty",
2. So is what you are saying is that only people who come from neighborhoods without proper interior decorating or any decent french bistro's are able to solve crime and bring down big time drug dealers?
3. Arent rich people the ones that do drugs? So wont they best be able to find where they are located?
4. Are you saying that wealthy people cannot actively participate in other tax brackets of society because they have had help making their beds throughout their lives?
My feeling is that no matter where you come from or what bank your father works at, your upbringing should not determine what path of life you choose, whether it be selling Veuve Cliquot in A french Vineyard, doing PR at Ann Taylor, law school, being a professional pet namer, a makeup artist, or a soccer mom, you can and should do whatever you want as long as you stay skinny and republican.
Throughout medications, disorders, bad therapy, low tier charity boards, poorly decorated guest bathrooms, light violent domestic crime, questionable trust fund amounts, racism against white people for getting into Ivy Leagues, and trying to get a job that doesn't involve doing anything but comes with a title like Junior Media Digital Publicity Creative Associate - it is a Rough Game in the 20-30 Something One Percent
Recently, among my many career endevors as most of you know I am in training to be the millenium version of a merge of Olivia Benson and Detective Munch with a side of Dr. Wong's intelligence and asian pauses.
I was informed recently, by one of my liberal minority university associates who I used to give Handjobs to in the Medical Library that I live a "too sheltered existence for this kind of work"
TO quote
And this is was actually in virtual verbatim text message
You Grew up in one of the most richest parts of the world, you went to elite private schools all your life and you live in a beautiful apartment in a rich part of town without having to pay for anything on your own.
Youve never had to worry about food in the house shitty schools, violent crime, discrimination, and other stuff that many people deal with
Youve benefitted from being born in a rich family and have things given to you on a silver platter. You have a maid.
OK A FEW THINGS... FREAK
1. It is not a narcotics detectives job to deal with "shitty schools and discrimination" and for the glittery bedazzled record I went to an all girls private school - it was definitely "shitty",
2. So is what you are saying is that only people who come from neighborhoods without proper interior decorating or any decent french bistro's are able to solve crime and bring down big time drug dealers?
3. Arent rich people the ones that do drugs? So wont they best be able to find where they are located?
4. Are you saying that wealthy people cannot actively participate in other tax brackets of society because they have had help making their beds throughout their lives?
My feeling is that no matter where you come from or what bank your father works at, your upbringing should not determine what path of life you choose, whether it be selling Veuve Cliquot in A french Vineyard, doing PR at Ann Taylor, law school, being a professional pet namer, a makeup artist, or a soccer mom, you can and should do whatever you want as long as you stay skinny and republican.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Detectives Valium and S&M,
As a twilight light private investigator,
I have to be ready at moments notice with my Van Cleef binocular and Balmain for Zac Posen Trench Coat,
which sometimes makes the work family balance difficult. My family comes first since thats who gives me the most money but sometimes like all working mothers without 6 figure alimony know, you have to balance.
My hot rich long hair dont care millionaire obama voting psychic believing horoscope proficient yoga instructor barney shopper sister and I were going to the theatre, but I had to cancel dinner after because of my mission. Canceling Dinner in our family is like canceling a press conference after a racial slur.
I felt awful for canceling our meal, not to mention she had such an arduous trip coming down from her Ivy League tower school by driver, but she understood of course, even though she screamed at me for ruining her chanel purse as I spilled some left over poison in it, but realized when I gave her few valium and adderal, that my private investigation career is what defines me through the ins and outs of my gin soaked core.
And thats why she is my best friend in the whole world even thought she is liberal and doesn't think poisoning people is funny.
A Night at The Theatre is Never Just That, Detectives, and Valium and Venus in Fur,
As a cultured well bred theatre auficianado-proficient in terrorism and xanax, I can whole heartedly say that this play is hot. The scene starts with a flash of lightening and two attractive people take the stage
I like theatre, because it shows that I am a well bred sophisticate who grasps deep emotion greater than a disapointment when a drugdealer doesnt show up.
The story is a woman, a struggling actress who auditions for the PLay Venus in Furs, an 1870 book about a man who was raped and abused by his aunt and then becomes obsessed with being dominated.
She enters the scene as a typical actress in Manhattan, poor highlights, late, cursing at the Subway, way too skinny but we love it, too loud, wildly uneducated, poorly mannered and sloppy.
She begs the director to give her a chance at an audition, and for the remainder of the play, witness the unfolding of the two characters as the reality of the audition and the dialog of Venus in Fur unfold and mesh until you are unclear of who is who and if they are in the play or reality.
Without giving too much away, this play is perfect for the cracked out adderall abuser generation as it only runs an hour and 35 minutes so you have enough time after the play to tell your contemporaries how cultured you are and get wasted.
I like theatre, because it shows that I am a well bred sophisticate who grasps deep emotion greater than a disapointment when a drugdealer doesnt show up.
The story is a woman, a struggling actress who auditions for the PLay Venus in Furs, an 1870 book about a man who was raped and abused by his aunt and then becomes obsessed with being dominated.
She enters the scene as a typical actress in Manhattan, poor highlights, late, cursing at the Subway, way too skinny but we love it, too loud, wildly uneducated, poorly mannered and sloppy.
She begs the director to give her a chance at an audition, and for the remainder of the play, witness the unfolding of the two characters as the reality of the audition and the dialog of Venus in Fur unfold and mesh until you are unclear of who is who and if they are in the play or reality.
Without giving too much away, this play is perfect for the cracked out adderall abuser generation as it only runs an hour and 35 minutes so you have enough time after the play to tell your contemporaries how cultured you are and get wasted.
Comments from The Pediatrics Gallery
I noticed that without the apostrophe in "I'll", the blog post title reads "You know how ill (as in 'sick'), do anything for money (is)?"
"The main thing about money, Bud, is that it makes you do things you don't want to do."
"Wall Street", 1987
This is a comment from my post you know how Ill do Anything for money, from a prestigious doctor from NEw England who I am related to but sadly do not believe I receive any money when he becomes deceased. FML.
I have 2 retorts to this.
1. Apostrophe's are for the weak
2. Sick do anything for money, is sort of my point
"The main thing about money, Bud, is that it makes you do things you don't want to do."
"Wall Street", 1987
This is a comment from my post you know how Ill do Anything for money, from a prestigious doctor from NEw England who I am related to but sadly do not believe I receive any money when he becomes deceased. FML.
I have 2 retorts to this.
1. Apostrophe's are for the weak
2. Sick do anything for money, is sort of my point
The evolution of Hooking up 2012
I remember in my prestigious summer camp for wealthy bored 13 year old jews who had nothing better to do than compare barmitzvah venues and play volley ball, we all hooked up with each other, which meant that we kissed on the dance for for under 5 seconds.
Transition to the school year- during locker room chats on the marble hallways of prestigious elite boarding school halls of 8th grade Hotchkiss to say we hooked up when you mean we just kissed and perhaps said something like, you're chill, where can we get some smirnoff.
NOW.
When someone in their 20's and early 30's and some sad randoms in their 40's use the expression "hooking up" it means things got weird.
It means there was some making out, some touching, some exchange of numbers, and some bodies rubbing up against each-other and some serious sapphire blue balls.
Transition to the school year- during locker room chats on the marble hallways of prestigious elite boarding school halls of 8th grade Hotchkiss to say we hooked up when you mean we just kissed and perhaps said something like, you're chill, where can we get some smirnoff.
NOW.
When someone in their 20's and early 30's and some sad randoms in their 40's use the expression "hooking up" it means things got weird.
It means there was some making out, some touching, some exchange of numbers, and some bodies rubbing up against each-other and some serious sapphire blue balls.
Romney "Pulls" Ahead After Super Tuesday
Mitt Romney was declared winner of Super Tuesday at the conclusion of March 6. With wins in Ohio, Massachusetts, Virginia, Idaho, Alaska and Vermont and a cumulative-to-date delegate count of 465, he is the frontrunner in the race for the GOP presidential nomination.
To win the GOP presidential nomination, a candidate must secure 1,144 delegates. However, concerns have surfaced that none of the current candidates may acquire this number, leading to rumors that a new GOP frontrunner may appear before the Republican National Convention in August, according to Fox and ABC News.
During his victory speech in his home state of Massachusetts, Romney concluded that President Obama’s actions fall short when it comes to the rising unemployment rate.
“To the millions of Americans who look around and can only see jobs they can’t get and bills that they — that they can’t pay, I have a message: You have not failed. You have a president that’s failed you, and that’s going to change.”
After a close call in Ohio, Rick Santorum won Oklahoma, Tennessee and North Dakota. He now has 234 delegates.
Newt Gingrich won his home state of Georgia, bringing him up to 125 delegates. His Georgia win is considered to be a comeback after nearly dropping out of the race days before Super Tuesday due to lack of funding.
“There are lots of bunny rabbits that run through. I’m the tortoise, I just take one step at a time,” Gingrich proclaimed.
Ron Paul earned delegates in Alaska, North Dakota, Vermont and Virginia, yet fell short of winning in any of the states.
The Washington caucus, which took place on March 3, the Saturday before Super Tuesday, became another win for Romney. Of the 40 delegates at stake, Romney was awarded 30, Santorum five and Paul five.
Last Saturday, March 10, four more states and territories held primaries and caucuses: Wyoming (11 delegates), Kansas (40 delegates), Northern Mariana Islands (9 delegates), the U.S. Virgin Islands (6 delegates) and Guam (9 delegates). Santorum took Kansas, and Romney took Wyoming, Northern Mariana Islands, the Virgin Islands and Guam. According to the Associated Press, Romney had not campaigned in Kansas.
Tuesday’s contests declared Santorum the winner of Alabama and Mississippi and Romney the winner of Hawaii and American Samoa.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
You know how Ill do anything for money?
Ive recently become obsessed with paid online studies where you write opinions and they pay you. Right meow I am part of an online manic dyslexic bipolar study group with young Americans from all across the nation to share their feelings with how they deal with this disorder.
We were asked to introduce and tell the group ourselves and this is what I wrote:
We were asked to introduce and tell the group ourselves and this is what I wrote:
My name is Glitter. I am from the ST. Regis in New York City and currently live in St. Tropez with my parents. Right now I am a free lance writer and private investigator specifically in matrimonial and violent/nonviolent rape cases. I grew up in New York in the St. Regis Penthouse, which is tiny compared to most penthouses in Manhattan hotels and have a really attractive sister and brother and 2 standard poodles that I am also obsessed with. I was a double major in Art History and Bulimia, and Arabic at a school that is not ivy league.
My career goal is to join the C.I.A and be a celebrity nutritionist including members of New York City Ballet, For now, I enjoy my writing. I write about topics ranging from sex, xanax, chess relationships, money, and current events specifically in the Middle east, Being Republican, my mom, social climbing, and diamonds
My career goal is to join the C.I.A and be a celebrity nutritionist including members of New York City Ballet, For now, I enjoy my writing. I write about topics ranging from sex, xanax, chess relationships, money, and current events specifically in the Middle east, Being Republican, my mom, social climbing, and diamonds
We were then asked what our fave thing to do is, and I wrote blog and some guy wrote this:
print photos and play basement shows. its better than any drug (and i've done alot of drugs).
We are thankfully allowed to respond so I wrote this:
You sound like a choice individual, who funded your drug habits? I see you are from Boston, which is too bad. I was wondering if you wanted to get a drink sometime the next time you are at The St. Regis and we could talk more about your photos. :D
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
Sorry Babe, Im waiting for my RothKo- Matisse Inbred masterpiece to be delivered to My Malibu Beach House so I cant go out
Women that talk about the artwork masterpieces they own are almost as vomit inducing as dating someone for their aquarium and the fact they were once on the Real World.
But, lets be real, Ive done that.
Furthermore, talking about buying art is the easiest way to spot a pretentious social climbing trust fund euro wannabe who smokes cigarettes and throws around terms like existential and wealthy interchangeably
-as anyone who calls a man's drug induced red boxes sauteed with a ruler mixed in with depression and heartache- is the fastest way of saying I paid my way into Law School and I do not know how to read.
Real Talk, Thug life -Art is fresh, rich, and fun to look and I mostly connect with artists on a personal level as most as well were deeply disturbed manically depressive homosexuals who were always high - A Starry Night? You bet it was.
As for me, Im all about the fakes, as I own poster-ed replica Of Starry Night ala Harvard Dorm in the 90's cue the Felicity Theme song
but then again I also cant read and Go to St Tropez and my I.Q is based on memorizing Wall Street Journal headlines from 1983.
Stay Medicated
But, lets be real, Ive done that.
Furthermore, talking about buying art is the easiest way to spot a pretentious social climbing trust fund euro wannabe who smokes cigarettes and throws around terms like existential and wealthy interchangeably
-as anyone who calls a man's drug induced red boxes sauteed with a ruler mixed in with depression and heartache- is the fastest way of saying I paid my way into Law School and I do not know how to read.
Real Talk, Thug life -Art is fresh, rich, and fun to look and I mostly connect with artists on a personal level as most as well were deeply disturbed manically depressive homosexuals who were always high - A Starry Night? You bet it was.
As for me, Im all about the fakes, as I own poster-ed replica Of Starry Night ala Harvard Dorm in the 90's cue the Felicity Theme song
but then again I also cant read and Go to St Tropez and my I.Q is based on memorizing Wall Street Journal headlines from 1983.
Stay Medicated
Sometimes at Cocktail Parties I bring up my manic bipolar depressiveness and my dissapointment in todays Latino's
Cocktail Party season is at its all time methane high as it is post oscar season and pre bougie Hamptons slash wealthy South of France Yacht Summer Season.
I recently attended a charity cocktail in my Marchesa but told everyone it was Commes Des Garcon as I havent used my french accent in a while and damn it feels good to sound like a confused hooker on valium.
The event was for Camels with Aids respectively so naturally I made a donation to Harvard Westlake School for the future U.S weekly Covers and chainsmoked on the balcony while I made Terry Richardson take photos of me dry humping the life size glass blown lamp
WHat happens at these vital organ important causes is people stand at the bar in their off the rack suits and talk about their excel spread sheets and public equity and the low tier red heads they are hooking up with
who I heard barely made standing room at London Fashion week, were in awkward sororities, still drink cranberry vodka and pronounce the G in Gnocchi -hashtag trailerpark.
I do not care that you work at J Poor Morgan and went to Wharton, which lets set the record straight is not an Ivy League, are going to Coachella, Mardi Gras, Octoberfest, Cabo, Atlantis, think that the music is good in here, and that you think it was season 6 that Entourage got retarded.
What I do care about is that you frequently cheat on your girlfriend, masturbate to poorly bred women, had a cousin who contributed to the ingenious Enron Scheme, shop at Ralph Lauren with your Dog and may or may not hired someone to take your SATs
That sounds like a party to me.
Until Charity Party Chatter shifts Lambourgini gears, I am taking my money to where it belongs- Inside Trading
I have no problem discussing the fun fact that I got fingerblasted by the artist who painted the picture of my friend being raped as long as I bring extra cars table water crackers and fire works and a photographer to take photos and mupload them to be our guest of a guest.
Stay Medicated. See you at the St. Regis
I recently attended a charity cocktail in my Marchesa but told everyone it was Commes Des Garcon as I havent used my french accent in a while and damn it feels good to sound like a confused hooker on valium.
The event was for Camels with Aids respectively so naturally I made a donation to Harvard Westlake School for the future U.S weekly Covers and chainsmoked on the balcony while I made Terry Richardson take photos of me dry humping the life size glass blown lamp
WHat happens at these vital organ important causes is people stand at the bar in their off the rack suits and talk about their excel spread sheets and public equity and the low tier red heads they are hooking up with
who I heard barely made standing room at London Fashion week, were in awkward sororities, still drink cranberry vodka and pronounce the G in Gnocchi -hashtag trailerpark.
I do not care that you work at J Poor Morgan and went to Wharton, which lets set the record straight is not an Ivy League, are going to Coachella, Mardi Gras, Octoberfest, Cabo, Atlantis, think that the music is good in here, and that you think it was season 6 that Entourage got retarded.
What I do care about is that you frequently cheat on your girlfriend, masturbate to poorly bred women, had a cousin who contributed to the ingenious Enron Scheme, shop at Ralph Lauren with your Dog and may or may not hired someone to take your SATs
That sounds like a party to me.
Until Charity Party Chatter shifts Lambourgini gears, I am taking my money to where it belongs- Inside Trading
I have no problem discussing the fun fact that I got fingerblasted by the artist who painted the picture of my friend being raped as long as I bring extra cars table water crackers and fire works and a photographer to take photos and mupload them to be our guest of a guest.
Stay Medicated. See you at the St. Regis
Weekend Nothing Short of Chainsmoking in my Jacuzzi at the 4 seasons
It seems that most men are simply bored rich guys on an adrenaline rush looking for women who can keep up with them intellectually and not steal all of their money and have no cellulite or desire to spend time with parents.
I came to this realization at one of my favorite cigar and meth bars with some of my gentlemen euro contemporaries who can turn a two hour wait list at a restaurant into a "right this way sir"
After a few cigars and filthy martinis and footjobs under the table it came to be that I really was so fucking phenomonal to be around and I should start feeling less worthless about my inability to send emails, turn on a sink, and instead excel at polishing black cards and judging people's 2nd homes.
I came to this realization at one of my favorite cigar and meth bars with some of my gentlemen euro contemporaries who can turn a two hour wait list at a restaurant into a "right this way sir"
After a few cigars and filthy martinis and footjobs under the table it came to be that I really was so fucking phenomonal to be around and I should start feeling less worthless about my inability to send emails, turn on a sink, and instead excel at polishing black cards and judging people's 2nd homes.
Drug Free Existence with some Caviar Caveats
In my trivial pursuit of my narcotics career, I have put my besties/drug lords on social probation so that I can successfully pass a drug test.
There is no greater feeling than saying you are bigger than your prescriptions so I reccommend all my glittery inner circle to drop their scripts for half a week or 2 and sell them to buy some extra tuna tartare and gucci for armani for Target for h andM for Zac Posen leather jackets- Rich and Sober is so March 2012
Hashtag Im on One
However, in my ever ending quest for social climbing to the tippity top of the front page of Radar Online I sometimes supply my wealthy friends who help me reach it.
Ipso Facto, Social Climbing Trumps Sobriety, as in this city drugs are the social currency that get you invited to the Chateau Marmount Marshmallow for the week end
There is no greater feeling than saying you are bigger than your prescriptions so I reccommend all my glittery inner circle to drop their scripts for half a week or 2 and sell them to buy some extra tuna tartare and gucci for armani for Target for h andM for Zac Posen leather jackets- Rich and Sober is so March 2012
Hashtag Im on One
However, in my ever ending quest for social climbing to the tippity top of the front page of Radar Online I sometimes supply my wealthy friends who help me reach it.
Ipso Facto, Social Climbing Trumps Sobriety, as in this city drugs are the social currency that get you invited to the Chateau Marmount Marshmallow for the week end
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
In case you missed these tweets this week, I retweeted for your enjoyment
RT @annawintour I could go for a fat blunt right now
RT @BarackObama Enjoying chainsmoking in the oval office hating on white folk
RT @RachelZoe My coke dealer is having a polka dot moment and it is so MAJOR
RT @OprahWinfrey Sometimes, Im really over poor people
RT @ZacEfron If I had the chance I would do the GlitterTherapist so hard on my yacht in the mediterranean
RT @Giselle Thank God Naomi is Black
RT @DakotaFanning Does anyone have any valium?
RT @UnitedNations_Peace_Summit I Syria isly hope Iran from the missles last night
RT @BillClinton My Daughter is so Rich Now,
RT @BarackObama Enjoying chainsmoking in the oval office hating on white folk
RT @RachelZoe My coke dealer is having a polka dot moment and it is so MAJOR
RT @OprahWinfrey Sometimes, Im really over poor people
RT @ZacEfron If I had the chance I would do the GlitterTherapist so hard on my yacht in the mediterranean
RT @Giselle Thank God Naomi is Black
RT @DakotaFanning Does anyone have any valium?
RT @UnitedNations_Peace_Summit I Syria isly hope Iran from the missles last night
RT @BillClinton My Daughter is so Rich Now,
Monday, March 5, 2012
19 Year OLD Ivy League Hotties Who Sing? Upper West Upper Class Magic
, the Liberal Media Elite Huff Post has gotten Wind of the Upper Class Upper West Magic
So gentlemen, Are you looking for an Agent who is-
not very smart but makes up for it with impeccable manners, incredibly high cheekbones and a summer home in Nantucket with unlimited prosecco and standard poodles to play with?
Not to mention I can make a mean piece of toast and go to the same internist as John Mayer, and often run into him in the waiting room, so will drop off your Demo Piece
Standing Reservation at the St. Regis, so lets talk Business and as a side note,
I give solid B plus head
I charge 10% of all sales plus require backstage passes for me and all my biddies
Gentlemen, page me, Ill be waiting.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/05/what-you-should-be-listening-to-upper-west_n_1322014.html
So gentlemen, Are you looking for an Agent who is-
not very smart but makes up for it with impeccable manners, incredibly high cheekbones and a summer home in Nantucket with unlimited prosecco and standard poodles to play with?
Not to mention I can make a mean piece of toast and go to the same internist as John Mayer, and often run into him in the waiting room, so will drop off your Demo Piece
Standing Reservation at the St. Regis, so lets talk Business and as a side note,
I give solid B plus head
I charge 10% of all sales plus require backstage passes for me and all my biddies
Gentlemen, page me, Ill be waiting.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/05/what-you-should-be-listening-to-upper-west_n_1322014.html
onset narcissism and dissociative multiple personality combine to make Kleptomania
I have mummy and daddy issues, I cry a lot, I forgot my A- mex so Here is What I shoplifted today
Baker Memorial Library at Dartmouth College
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Relax, I went to an Ivy League School, I pretty much know everything
It occurred to me on this post apoco lipstick under medicated morning, that even though I could be considered half retarded and worthless by society's standpoints of not being married or having any liquidated assets to call my own,
I still truly am so far more liberally educated and thus blissfully ignoramous than most of the pseudo Americans that matriculate cosmopolitan society.
Ignorance is Bliss? Well Hedonism is Dreamland Euphoric on the Way to the Emerald City turned Diamond sans Nasty Monkeys replaced with Idina Menzel
I seek lifes smaller pleasures of
being cold to Russian Mail order Bride/ SalesWomen at BCBG
Masturbating to minorly attainable B list Celebrities
Light Meth Binges
Writing Cultural Adaptations of Shakespeares under appreciated plays to fit modern day society
Contemplating Fashionable ways to commit suicide
Tweeting about possible pregnancies
chainsmoking in jacuzzis
mushing avacados
I still truly am so far more liberally educated and thus blissfully ignoramous than most of the pseudo Americans that matriculate cosmopolitan society.
Ignorance is Bliss? Well Hedonism is Dreamland Euphoric on the Way to the Emerald City turned Diamond sans Nasty Monkeys replaced with Idina Menzel
I seek lifes smaller pleasures of
being cold to Russian Mail order Bride/ SalesWomen at BCBG
Masturbating to minorly attainable B list Celebrities
Light Meth Binges
Writing Cultural Adaptations of Shakespeares under appreciated plays to fit modern day society
Contemplating Fashionable ways to commit suicide
Tweeting about possible pregnancies
chainsmoking in jacuzzis
mushing avacados
Friday, March 2, 2012
Manhattan Nighlife Can Really Offensive Everywhere: Unless you do it Glitter Style
I am on pins and heroin needles waiting for some well respected publication to tell me where to go to meet Independently wealthy venture capitalists without Asian Fetishes or hidden desires to punch me unless I ask for it.
Alas it has not happened, so leave it to me to tell you that everything you know is wrong. The breakdowns of the neighborhoods are as follows.
The Upper East Side.
If you are in the mood for some Raw Tuna Nicoise and caviar and Very thin Chocolate mousse cake where the clientele are potential mafia members or Wealthy divorcees with bad hair but phenom Hamptons Homes
then the UES is for you.
Im into Vico for the olive oil and grilled vegetables, the heated family arguments, and the family accout
Im into Bemelmans Bar for my skinny bicoastal friends who live there, the ironic enjoyment of world renowned comedic genius slash Pedophile Woody Allen's saxaphone and the phenom old man mixologist pakastani bartender who remains relentlessly Pro Palestine mazelz.
Im into St. Bernards School for Boys. Even though it comes screamingly close to the Ghetto, with its high in the 90's locale,
it is a Great place to pick up rich junior high school boys on their way to tennis or lacrosse,or interpretive Dance, as it is the perfect melange of jews, wasps, and internationals, with parents in the art world and most go on to Ivy Leages and make 5 mil and over.
Downtown Clubbing is almost as offensive as Buildings without Doormen, or the adderal shortage.
Unless you are a coked out bored wealthy unintelligent freak show who is from Nebraska. Like my anti depressants, Id say skip it.
Downtown Bars
My Skinny Rich Nutritionist Friend told me her ethnic yet wealthy lover told me about Raines Law Room, invite Rich normally whites only unless you can pay.
Phenom Call
More to come, Im bored
Alas it has not happened, so leave it to me to tell you that everything you know is wrong. The breakdowns of the neighborhoods are as follows.
The Upper East Side.
If you are in the mood for some Raw Tuna Nicoise and caviar and Very thin Chocolate mousse cake where the clientele are potential mafia members or Wealthy divorcees with bad hair but phenom Hamptons Homes
then the UES is for you.
Im into Vico for the olive oil and grilled vegetables, the heated family arguments, and the family accout
Im into Bemelmans Bar for my skinny bicoastal friends who live there, the ironic enjoyment of world renowned comedic genius slash Pedophile Woody Allen's saxaphone and the phenom old man mixologist pakastani bartender who remains relentlessly Pro Palestine mazelz.
Im into St. Bernards School for Boys. Even though it comes screamingly close to the Ghetto, with its high in the 90's locale,
it is a Great place to pick up rich junior high school boys on their way to tennis or lacrosse,or interpretive Dance, as it is the perfect melange of jews, wasps, and internationals, with parents in the art world and most go on to Ivy Leages and make 5 mil and over.
Downtown Clubbing is almost as offensive as Buildings without Doormen, or the adderal shortage.
Unless you are a coked out bored wealthy unintelligent freak show who is from Nebraska. Like my anti depressants, Id say skip it.
Downtown Bars
My Skinny Rich Nutritionist Friend told me her ethnic yet wealthy lover told me about Raines Law Room, invite Rich normally whites only unless you can pay.
Phenom Call
More to come, Im bored
You havent really lived if you havent
Done drugs on a Private Plane in your pjamas rapping to your puppy
Eaten Caviar with a black person
Cursed out a bottle service girl
Been inside a volcano and told ghost stories with flashlights
Had an indepth conversation about the real estate value in Hawaii
Pretended to Be British for a week
Been very badly burned by a sparkler
Had an in depth conversation conversation with a liberal senator
Been to an AA meeting with a celebrity
Thrown a tantrum on a Camel
Had sex in an upscale Fraternity House
Had a drunken photo of you leaked to the press and required a personal statement on how you were just tired and it was a whack angle
Had to convince someone that you actually were in fact a very distant relative of royalty
Accidentally/not really made a withdrawl from your trust fund to pay off some online gambling debts
Eaten Caviar with a black person
Cursed out a bottle service girl
Been inside a volcano and told ghost stories with flashlights
Had an indepth conversation about the real estate value in Hawaii
Pretended to Be British for a week
Been very badly burned by a sparkler
Had an in depth conversation conversation with a liberal senator
Been to an AA meeting with a celebrity
Thrown a tantrum on a Camel
Had sex in an upscale Fraternity House
Had a drunken photo of you leaked to the press and required a personal statement on how you were just tired and it was a whack angle
Had to convince someone that you actually were in fact a very distant relative of royalty
Accidentally/not really made a withdrawl from your trust fund to pay off some online gambling debts
Boob Jobs and Daddies
I have come to the razor to the vein sharp realization that perhaps I need to re evaluate my appearance and get a boob job.
I am of course strikingly classically beautiful with a healthy glow of first month pregnancy and narcissism, and
a relaxed transparent stare from a combination of sparkling voss, vicodin, klonoponies, and seaweed.
However, as Nelson Mendela said, there is always room for improvement.
Normally I get a fulfilling sicknasty pleasure out of discussing sexual actions and thoughts of life with father but my need for a boob job to get a HEad in my career of social climbing and shooting people, but something about this particular enhancement causes rampant anxiety coursing through my split open veins overflowing with blood and gin.
Discussing this with Father is necessary, as like all projects regarding my career that deem no real meaning to life require significant funding. See: sex toys for Rape Victims and Bedazzling Weapons
So, what I have decided to do is a draw a diagram of what is required and send it via email with a powerpoint presentation created by my asian Tutor Guam of why this is operation is vital.
Father, you know just as well as I do, boobs equal money equal good life equal good retirement. Ipso facto silicone investments will lead to the beach house on the almafi coast with enough guest rooms for your young very slightly retarded mentees.
Cheers to Investing into the future.
Much Love
Glitter
I am of course strikingly classically beautiful with a healthy glow of first month pregnancy and narcissism, and
a relaxed transparent stare from a combination of sparkling voss, vicodin, klonoponies, and seaweed.
However, as Nelson Mendela said, there is always room for improvement.
Normally I get a fulfilling sicknasty pleasure out of discussing sexual actions and thoughts of life with father but my need for a boob job to get a HEad in my career of social climbing and shooting people, but something about this particular enhancement causes rampant anxiety coursing through my split open veins overflowing with blood and gin.
Discussing this with Father is necessary, as like all projects regarding my career that deem no real meaning to life require significant funding. See: sex toys for Rape Victims and Bedazzling Weapons
So, what I have decided to do is a draw a diagram of what is required and send it via email with a powerpoint presentation created by my asian Tutor Guam of why this is operation is vital.
Father, you know just as well as I do, boobs equal money equal good life equal good retirement. Ipso facto silicone investments will lead to the beach house on the almafi coast with enough guest rooms for your young very slightly retarded mentees.
Cheers to Investing into the future.
Much Love
Glitter
March Madness
I understand that March Madness is about Rich Black Guys and College, 2 things that really confuse me so I have created my own list of March Madness, I.E Things that Make me really Mad in March.
Mother invited me to ZERO fashion shows in Paris, Milan, and New York, Rudeness Guliani,
I dont have any friends in the MOB
I am losing My Russian
My puppy ate my stolen Vicodin
Heidi Montag has more money than me I think
My dermatologist said I was this century's genius, but he is very old and possibly gay and normally has whack bedside manner
I am on the brink of being caught by the Feds because I have been stealing people's paypal account numbers and depositing them as I see fit.
La Grenouille Does not Deliver
My Boyfriend is really Gay, like in the homosexual way
My porn career remains a tragic B list
My Drone and Missle License is still Pending
My Brazillian Waxer invited me to her Birthday..
My Waiter asked me on a date, and when I told him I dont date the help, he cried and then I felt bad so I gave him a blow job.
Mother invited me to ZERO fashion shows in Paris, Milan, and New York, Rudeness Guliani,
I dont have any friends in the MOB
I am losing My Russian
My puppy ate my stolen Vicodin
Heidi Montag has more money than me I think
My dermatologist said I was this century's genius, but he is very old and possibly gay and normally has whack bedside manner
I am on the brink of being caught by the Feds because I have been stealing people's paypal account numbers and depositing them as I see fit.
La Grenouille Does not Deliver
My Boyfriend is really Gay, like in the homosexual way
My porn career remains a tragic B list
My Drone and Missle License is still Pending
My Brazillian Waxer invited me to her Birthday..
My Waiter asked me on a date, and when I told him I dont date the help, he cried and then I felt bad so I gave him a blow job.
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