Nathan Nathanson Harvard Boy

My jaw dropped. Nathan was tall and lanky and had sandy brown hair and icy blue eyes. He looked like a clean cut well dressed bad boy in dark jeans and a crisp white linen shirt. I knew there was something off. There was something fake. Boys like him only existed in Disney Movies and on Wall Street without a hooker or a drug problem. Not real. He smiled.  “I just don’t understand why you need 16 chandeliers we are Freshman”

Nadine: Because, Nathan.  dear bother its my room and I can do whatever the fuck I want.

I could tell already that these twins had fucked. 

Nathan: Ok Whatever.

Nadine: You have to admit its sort of funny.

Nathan: Its sort of funny .

Nadine: Come Sit down Nathan and tell us about your living arrangements. 

Nathan carried himself with confidence and power without being pretentious. He ordered a dirty martini and asked for extra blue cheese olives. He explained that he and his twin were best friends. He said that he was from Beverly Hills and that he wanted to study philosophy. His roommate was from Connecticut. He said that he thought an East Coast vibe was chill and looked at me. When his drink came, he didn’t take a breath. “So you girls are living with my sister? I suggest that you keep all flammable items out of sight and childproof your medicine cabinets”

Freshman year Harvard Day 1

I never trusted pretty women. They are manipulative, kiniving, and are a lethal combination of psychotic and mentally retarded because they do not have to try. 

What I could tell from Nadine though, was that while she was beautiful, she worked hard to showcase her intelligence,  what with her usage of large adjectives to describe people, and her obscure large scale political references, a rarity from someone from the West Coast. We walked through the library and saw students already studying and on their laptops typing away, creating their next plan, their next move, trying desperately to look busy, confident, determined, assertive.

“I like it here” Nadine said,

“Me too”, I confirmed. 
I looked out onto the quiet street and realized how little I missed New York I got the same feeling when I was at camp and even when I was it Switzerland. 
I missed my doorman and my dog and I even missed my parents fighting. 
But I did not miss the chaos of New York. New York is like an abusive boyfriend that you keep going back to. 
When its good its really good, the parties are beautiful the clothes are exciting and the champagne does not stop pouring, but when its bad, its really bad, its cold and rainy, there are no cabs, the stock market is down, the bouncer says it’s a private party, the cocaine tastes like rat poison, 

and you are stuck on the L train from a terrible party in a weird neighborhood.

Luke and Roberto at Happy Hour: The Year is 1968 where smoking in Bars is Legal

“See, she’s nice,” Luke said. “I think a steady girlfriend could be good for you, for a little while at least.”

“Luke we’ve been through this. Girlfriends are for losers. Why would I get a girlfriend when I would eventually cheat, like my father, like your father, and like that guy over there. I’m doing her a favor by not making her my girlfriend.

Luke didn’t argue with Roberto because the truth was he did not know. Roberto’s cold conclusions regarding sex didn’t shock him, but he wished that people wouldn’t admit the truth all the time, and at least pretend that life should go the way it is meant to. 

Which part of her made you think June is right for me? The part where she spilled my 7 dollar cocktail or the part where she didn’t stop talking about her clarinet?

I think you liked her clarinet.

I think you should get over the fact that I am at Harvard to become a successful yet potentially shady business man.

Money and Clothes; You've already lost me bitch.

I have absolutely no idea how to spend or inveset intelligently, unless it involves the off shore coasts or my plastic surgeon for the casual lip fillers and light lipo on my vag and thighs. 

Its in the realm of delusional possibility that my late cousins had incest due to my classy asbergers and my inability to properly dress myself like the prep school gossip girl I was meant to become. My personal style is more strung out hooker who has xanax spilling out of her stepmother's Hermes that I got blood and tasti delite on. And I also stole it. Sorry Kiki!

I was complimented on my dress twice today; but only by the help. A starbucks barista and a waitress at the Polo Lounge meaning that I am only slightly better dressed than Willow Pinkett Smith  in with a stalkerish yet seemingly disturbing disposition of Monica Lewinsky.

Heres what I did today
1. I emptied all of the contents of the Mini Bar when I invited my friends from Dwight to come party on my balcony and throw Ketel one bottles off the balcony and into the kid's pool.
2 Asked the waitresses to take my photo with Bravo's internationally acclaimed restauranteurs slash housewives,
3.  Wore a shirt that says  Im a whore and will suck dick for both blow and an invite to Art Basel. 

Fade In: Harvard 1968 the Scene is Between Luke Cooper and his roommate Roberto

And you’re telling me Matthew Mark Luke and John stayed up all night to take down Gods words without substance assistance? I’m a modern day disciple, bitch.” Luke was comforted by Roberto’s antics and longed for the closeness of a brother. It struck him curious that he was such an important part of history that he could not share with others. It was a shame he thought, as aren’t we all desperate, grasping at straws to be interesting?

The two were inseperable on campus and many people whispered that they were gay. Sometimes, I think that they were. 

One night Roberto and Luke were having their usual pre Johnny Walker black before dinner at O’Jay’s, a bar that to this day still has the same bartender with the lazy eye and the evil twin brother who works on Saturday’s.  The Evil twin is known to purposely get the wrong drink order and forget to give you your change and attempt to steal your social security number.  The two were on their second drink when June Jacobson showed up, who had been following Roberto ever since she saw him in the cafeteria that fall. A classmate had told her roommate who told June that Roberto and Luke were going to O’Jay’s before dinner. She subsequently bolted for the bar before they left. She pretended to be discreet and grabbed a stool at the bar and stared at the boys.

“I think that girl is staring at you” Luke said.

“Welcome to a day at Roberto’s”

“No, I mean, I have seen that girl around campus, you should be a gentleman and ask her if she wants to join us”

“To talk about what? Politics? God? The reason for living? Thanks, but Id rather talk to you and pay for sex, and plus I had a stalker in high school” It would have been funnier if she was hot. Also, would be funnier if June was hot.u

“How do you know her name?”

“I talked to her in the cafeteria last week, It was terribly bizarre, she walked up to me and introduced herself and then ran away”.

Roberto, don’t you want to meet a Girl?

“No”

Why?

“Women take your money and leave you”

“I’m not going to debate that, but if we already know that much, then why don’t you just hide your money?”

“Can we talk about something else? We are at Harvard for Fucksake, what about the debilitating psychosexual undertones of the Greek Gods?”